Comments for E-WRITE http://ewriteonline.com Writing for online readers Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:19:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2 Comment on Do-it-Yourself Outreach: Advice from a PR Pro by Darla DeMorrow, author of The Pregnany Entrepreneur http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2012/02/do-it-yourself-outreach-advice-from-a-pr-pro/#comment-9843 Darla DeMorrow, author of The Pregnany Entrepreneur Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:19:04 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3928#comment-9843 Thanks for the ideas. I have been doing much of this since my book was published last year, but I appreciate the ideas on how to use one bit of media exposure to spring board to the next. Thanks especially for the sample tweet. That is a great idea. Thanks for the ideas. I have been doing much of this since my book was published last year, but I appreciate the ideas on how to use one bit of media exposure to spring board to the next. Thanks especially for the sample tweet. That is a great idea.

]]> Comment on Avis e-mails to an unhappy customer: From flawed to perfect? by Pat http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2011/11/avis-e-mails-to-an-unhappy-customer-from-flawed-to-perfect/#comment-9581 Pat Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:52:50 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3523#comment-9581 In response to the question about why the two phrases about Terms and Conditions are different, it looks the one below the body copy is a link that takes people to the T&C, but on the right, they are just calling out that there are terms and conditions for the items above, so it's just informative. They serve different purposes, so perhaps the different wording. In response to the question about why the two phrases about Terms and Conditions are different, it looks the one below the body copy is a link that takes people to the T&C, but on the right, they are just calling out that there are terms and conditions for the items above, so it’s just informative. They serve different purposes, so perhaps the different wording.

]]> Comment on Avis e-mails to an unhappy customer: From flawed to perfect? by Rob http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2011/11/avis-e-mails-to-an-unhappy-customer-from-flawed-to-perfect/#comment-9573 Rob Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:00:14 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3523#comment-9573 If I received the second email, I'd feel like I was being bought off. The "Our gift to you" is too stock; adding wording like, although we can't undo the mistake, please accept one of the following as or way of saying "Sorry, we'll try not to let it happen again." And why can't They be consistent and say "Terms and conditions apply" under both offers. If I received the second email, I’d feel like I was being bought off. The “Our gift to you” is too stock; adding wording like, although we can’t undo the mistake, please accept one of the following as or way of saying “Sorry, we’ll try not to let it happen again.”

And why can’t They be consistent and say “Terms and conditions apply” under both offers.

]]> Comment on Avis e-mails to an unhappy customer: From flawed to perfect? by Pat http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2011/11/avis-e-mails-to-an-unhappy-customer-from-flawed-to-perfect/#comment-9570 Pat Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:38:30 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3523#comment-9570 Customer service reps who respond to these complaints are poorly paid non-copywriters, and many even have English as their second language. Not to excuse the poor quality of the e-mails, but I know from experience most customer service reps who respond to customer complaints at this level receive very little guidance, and there is usually no one checking quality on these types of exchanges. Often, the folks in charge of monitoring these channels don't know any better themselves. Until companies realize that their customer service folks are in the front line with regard to their customers, they will continue to try to do these things as cheaply as possible. You see the result. The second e-mail is obviously a template that has been written by someone a little higher up on the food chain, as it is supposed to be from a “Director”. It’s no doubt been vetted by some managers somewhere, a rep from the legal department, and even a brand person. It is an improvement on the first, even though it too has flaws. I guess the main thing I want to say is--don't blame Anne Smith. Customer service reps who respond to these complaints are poorly paid non-copywriters, and many even have English as their second language. Not to excuse the poor quality of the e-mails, but I know from experience most customer service reps who respond to customer complaints at this level receive very little guidance, and there is usually no one checking quality on these types of exchanges. Often, the folks in charge of monitoring these channels don’t know any better themselves. Until companies realize that their customer service folks are in the front line with regard to their customers, they will continue to try to do these things as cheaply as possible. You see the result. The second e-mail is obviously a template that has been written by someone a little higher up on the food chain, as it is supposed to be from a “Director”. It’s no doubt been vetted by some managers somewhere, a rep from the legal department, and even a brand person. It is an improvement on the first, even though it too has flaws. I guess the main thing I want to say is–don’t blame Anne Smith.

]]> Comment on Avis e-mails to an unhappy customer: From flawed to perfect? by Colleen http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2011/11/avis-e-mails-to-an-unhappy-customer-from-flawed-to-perfect/#comment-9545 Colleen Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:59:37 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3523#comment-9545 The first email sounds like an insincere apology, and it makes me think about how annoyed I am--and whether I want to call Anne and give her a piece of my mind. The second email should come FIRST. It feels like I've been heard and yet it doesn't allow me to call or email a real person with questions or complaints. Also, the image of the car makes it look like the car is apologizing or that they're too afraid to face me. I don't expect a stock photo of a person, just the AVIS logo would do. But don't push a shiny new car at me - is it supposed to distract me from my feelings of irritation? The first email sounds like an insincere apology, and it makes me think about how annoyed I am–and whether I want to call Anne and give her a piece of my mind.

The second email should come FIRST. It feels like I’ve been heard and yet it doesn’t allow me to call or email a real person with questions or complaints. Also, the image of the car makes it look like the car is apologizing or that they’re too afraid to face me. I don’t expect a stock photo of a person, just the AVIS logo would do.

But don’t push a shiny new car at me – is it supposed to distract me from my feelings of irritation?

]]> Comment on Online communities: How high-quality writing makes private workspaces work by Adi Gaskell http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2012/01/online-communities-how-high-quality-writing-makes-private-workspaces-work/#comment-9354 Adi Gaskell Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:56:42 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3703#comment-9354 This is a nice piece that covers most of the kinds of writing I've always engaged in on my communities. I suppose another distinction is between public and private writing. I was always told that a big part of the community managers job was done in private, behind the scenes. This is a nice piece that covers most of the kinds of writing I’ve always engaged in on my communities. I suppose another distinction is between public and private writing. I was always told that a big part of the community managers job was done in private, behind the scenes.

]]> Comment on Your Honor, could you repeat that … in plain language? by Cheryl Stephens http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2012/01/your-honor-could-you-repeat-that-in-plain-language/#comment-8298 Cheryl Stephens Thu, 12 Jan 2012 01:26:16 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3592#comment-8298 I'll be talking about this at the Clarity Conference in May. Please come: https://sites.google.com/site/claritydc2012/ I’ll be talking about this at the Clarity Conference in May. Please come:

https://sites.google.com/site/claritydc2012/

]]> Comment on This “I’ve quit” e-mail has pitch-perfect tone by Leslie O'Flahavan http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2011/10/this-ive-quit-e-mail-has-pitch-perfect-tone/#comment-5864 Leslie O'Flahavan Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:13:02 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3415#comment-5864 Thanks for your comment, Betty. You've prompted me to check a couple of dictionaries about the past tense of tread. The Oxford American Dictionary agrees with you: I should have used trod. But Wiktionary -- http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tread -- says that the simple past tense of tread can be "trod, tread or treaded." I'll leave tread in for now; I guess it's a little bit OK! Thanks for your comment, Betty. You’ve prompted me to check a couple of dictionaries about the past tense of tread. The Oxford American Dictionary agrees with you: I should have used trod. But Wiktionary — http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tread — says that the simple past tense of tread can be “trod, tread or treaded.” I’ll leave tread in for now; I guess it’s a little bit OK!

]]> Comment on This “I’ve quit” e-mail has pitch-perfect tone by Betty Murphy http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2011/10/this-ive-quit-e-mail-has-pitch-perfect-tone/#comment-5841 Betty Murphy Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:05:05 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3415#comment-5841 The email was fine, but your comment uses the present tense of "tread" when you meant to use the past tense. The email was fine, but your comment uses the present tense of “tread” when you meant to use the past tense.

]]> Comment on This “I’ve quit” e-mail has pitch-perfect tone by ReneeReader http://ewriteonline.com/writing-matters/2011/10/this-ive-quit-e-mail-has-pitch-perfect-tone/#comment-402 ReneeReader Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:15:46 +0000 http://ewriteonline.com/?p=3415#comment-402 I like the positivity, and it sends a good message to take time to craft your official parting words with a personal touch. Also, Jane makes sure to identify her last day of work. That's not only useful information for her employer, it's important for her own protection. Jane's employer could otherwise tell her to leave the moment they received her resignation letter. I like the positivity, and it sends a good message to take time to craft your official parting words with a personal touch. Also, Jane makes sure to identify her last day of work. That’s not only useful information for her employer, it’s important for her own protection. Jane’s employer could otherwise tell her to leave the moment they received her resignation letter.

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