Posts within the category: Marketing

January 11, 2012

This law firm's marketing copy is so dry it makes me thirsty

My goodness. This brochure copy from a Baltimore law firm -- one I've worked with and really like -- has to be the flattest, driest writing ever.

Legal Services Available
Based on conversations and inquiries made by several of our current clients, we would like to remind everyone of the array of legal services we can provide. Either individually or in conjunction with other attorneys that we have formed close strategic partnerships with, we are able to offer services in the following practice areas ...

This marketing copy presents the least compelling wording possible. Let’s examine how.

A deadly dull offer

As a value proposition, “Legal Services Available” is akin to Macy’s saying “We Sell Stuff.” I checked out the competitions’ websites, and — to no one’s surprise — discovered that other Baltimore law firms do write marketing copy that has a pulse:

• “Lawyers Helping Your Business Grow.” Whiteford, Taylor & Preston keeps it simple and focuses on its practice area.
• “Former Insurance Company Attorney Now Fighting for You.” Glusing & Muher brings some history and some muscle.
• “We make sure you’re ready. Before you’re even sure you need to be.” Miles & Stockbridge makes it personal… and deep.
• “Smart in your world.” Arent Fox‘s tag line may be perplexing, but at least it’s interesting.

Targeted brochure copy that’s directed to “everyone”?

Wordy, impersonal copy rarely sells. Does the brochure’s first sentence need to mention both “conversations” and “inquiries”? Are only the “current” clients asking? Does this firm really want to "remind everyone” about the “array” of services?

Targeted brochure copy should address the reader as “you.” My non-scientific study revealed that many law firms are reluctant to write in second person. Most firms use the third person “clients” instead, leaving actual clients or prospects to wonder “You talkin’ to me?” An example from DLA Piper:

• “From the quality of our legal advice and business insight to the efficiency of our legal teams, we believe that when it comes to the to the way we serve and interact with our clients, everything matters.”

 

A couple of brave firms took the second person plunge:

• Glusing & Muher: “You need a lawyer that goes beyond the immediate details of your legal issues…”
• Silverman Thompson Slutkin & White: “…your case will be personally handled by a hand-picked team of veteran trial lawyers, each of whom brings a vast, unparalleled and diverse level of litigation experience to the courtroom."

 

I think this "you" copy is stronger. Talking directly to prospective clients helps them think, "Yep, I do need that kind of lawyer."

Using 27 words when 15 will do

Cut, cut, then cut. Let’s take this whole 27-word sentence and cut it down to size:

• Wordy: “Either individually or in conjunction with other attorneys that we have formed close strategic partnerships with, we are able to offer services in the following practice areas …”
• Streamlined: “Individually or with our partner attorneys, we offer services in the following practice areas …”

 

Marketing copy with a “you” attitude

Who writes high-quality legal marketing copy? The Byrd Law Firm does. Byrd’s website, which won a Graphic Design USA 2011 American Web Design Award, deserves recognition for pairing stunning images with marketing copy that has a “you” attitude:

• “Are you tired of waiting for your insurance company? Call us today.”
• Contact us if you’ve been harmed by a dangerous drug.”
• If you’ve been seriously injured in an accident, call us for help”

 

Want to share your own example of lively marketing copy or a law firm’s great website? Post your comment here.

October 10, 2009

Social Media Press Release: A New Approach to the Old Problem of Getting Noticed

When more than 50 people lost their lives in a train wreck in 1906, Ivy Lee—the father of public relations—issued the first-ever news release, a public statement about the crash from Pennsylvania Railroad officials. The New York Times was so impressed with this innovative approach to corporate communications that it published the release verbatim.

Getting the NYT to publish a release is still every PR practitioner’s dream. But the reality is that although the press release remained the same for more than 100 years, the media landscape has changed beyond recognition, thanks to 24-hour cable news channels, fewer magazines and newspapers, and thousands of blogs and social media sites. With the major online news services distributing more than 2,000 press releases a day, the odds of your release getting noticed—much less reprinted verbatim—are slim to none. The majority of press releases end up in journalists’ trash bins.

In his 2006 blog post Die! Press release! Die! Die! Die!, Tom Foremski of Silicon Valley Watcher argued that the traditional press release incurs lots of expense and effort for little return. He issued a clarion call: Ditch the 100-year-old format and reinvent the press release to reflect the needs of today’s media.

Foremski’s redo—the social media press release, or SMPR—called for stripping the press release of “top-spin” (claims that something is the biggest, the newest, the best) and deconstructing the release into stand-alone components:

• A brief, straightforward description of the announcement about the new product, event, or service
• Quotes from top executives, customers, users, and analysts
• Financial information
• Product specs or other relevant details
• Multimedia elements
• Links to the organization’s website and external links to other news stories or resources
• Tagged content so that information can be easily found by search engines and social bookmarking sites, such as share-it!, Technorati, and delicious.

Announcing The Social Media Press Release Template
It didn’t take long for Foremski’s ideas about a 21st century press release to gain traction. Shift Communications was first out of the gate with its Social Media Press Release Template. True to form, it announced the SMPR template with, you guessed it, a release that uses the template. With input from PR professionals and journalists, the Social Media Group offered a refinement in 2008: its own social media press release template. Social Media Group’s template emphasizes audio, video, blogs, and interactivity.

Some Assembly Required
Foremski said that given the components of the SMPR, writers—whether they’re reporters or bloggers—can assemble the news story and put their own slant on the content. For example, a journalist writing an article about economic trends could draw from several SMPRs and buttress forecasts from the Federal Reserve with statistics from researchers and think tanks, as well as a quote drawn from the National Restaurant Association’s social media news release about economic trends in the restaurant industry.

Hybrid Releases: The Best of Old and New
Although some organizations have fully embraced the social media press release format, they are a definite minority. A 2009 MarketingSherpa study found that nearly 50 percent of B2B and B2C companies didn’t know what a social media press release was. Of those who did, only 20 percent actually distributed them.

More common is the multimedia news release (MNR), a press release that uses the traditional linear format but incorporates social media elements—photos, videos, podcasts, and social bookmarking. The online distribution services, including PRWeb, PRNewswire, and RealWire, offer MNR options. You can see an MNR example at the PRWeb site: “DuPont Introduces Innovative Nomex® On Demand™ to Better Protect Firefighters.”

One advantage of publishing an MNR rather than an SMPR: you “control” the story a bit more, while enriching it with multimedia and social media elements to make it more appealing to the reporter or blogger.

Overcoming Two SMPR Obstacles
One of the stumbling blocks in the adoption of social media press releases is figuring out how to distribute them. That’s why many organizations use multiple distribution channels. You can:

• Send an e-mail to your organization’s press or subscriber list that includes a link to the SMPR.
• Push the SMPR out via an RSS feed.
• Use online news release services, such as PRWeb, PRNewsWire, or RealWire, which have incorporated multimedia capabilities into their press release formats.
• Use a wire service to deliver a traditional press release (cheaper than a wire service MNR) with a link back to the organization’s newsroom, where the release is also available in a social media format.
• Announce the SMPR via social media—Twitter, corporate blog, LinkedIn, and Facebook—with a link to the SMPR.

Yet another challenge is institutional: getting the older staff members, who know products and press relations, to work with the younger ones, who may be web-savvy but have less product knowledge. You’ll have more success if you can get these two groups talking to each other and working as a team.

Changing Format Means Rethinking Goals and ROI
Nontraditional press releases have also changed the goals of a press release. “ROI of Online Press Releases,” a 2008 research study by the Society for New Communications Research, found that reaching customers directly, creating online content, and optimizing for search engines were as important as the traditional goals of announcing news and increasing visibility.

All change takes getting used to, so switching from the traditional press release to the social media press release may happen slowly in your organization. But with traditional newspaper and magazine publishing in a state of upheaval, the risk of clinging to the old press release format is too high. Social media’s no longer a novelty; publishing a press release in a social-media-friendly format just makes sense.

• For more information, see my companion post Social Media Press Release: Tips and Examples.

-- Marilynne Rudick (guest blogger)

August 6, 2009

Crimes Against Clarity: Marketese and Malaprops

"These people really need you."  That's what I hear just before a reader, client, or other word lover shows me some buzzword-loaded, abstraction-choked paragraph of marketese she's found online. And that's what Writing Matters reader Jill Leahy said to me when she forwarded this spectacle of bureaucratic PR verbiage published by the Federal Reserve in a press release last spring:

The TALF is designed to catalyze the securitization markets by providing financing to investors to support their purchases of certain AAA-rated asset-backed securities (ABS).

But "catalyze the securitization markets" pales in comparison to this dreadful clump of Frost & Sullivan marketing copy submitted (but not written by) by reader Jennifer Plath.

The sales of machine vision (MV) systems witnessed continuous growth until mid-2008 due to strong fundamentals - rapid innovation rates and the deployment of machine vision in an ever increasing range of  applications. However economic recessionary trends affecting the manufacturing sector adversely have triggered a decline in the vision systems market since the last quarter of 2008. Nevertheless high innovation rates and new applications development continue to open up new vistas of growth for the machine vision industry. Cutting down vision system integration and development costs, acquiring strong core technology capabilities in vision systems integration, and diversification of business to new applications and markets are key requirements for sustenance for players in the MV market.

Jennifer was right on the money when she described this paragraph as terribly
wordy, indicted its tortured sentences, and commented that it is "... hard to read, even though there isn’t that much being said."

And while we're on the topic of writers' "word stumbles" (or outright word crimes) we've started a running list of malaprops and hope you'll add to it. Reader Barbara Hughes, who has an eye for these things, sent us:

• a gluten for punishment
• for all intensive purposes
• Wa-lah! (instead of Voila!)

Krista Molino (via Twitter) has contributed:

• mute point

My two malaprop finds for the week are:

• just my two sense
• all the sudden

And Marilynne has contributed what has to be this week's winner:

• flash in the pants

Let's keep the list growing. Send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses ... I mean send me your examples of marketese or malaprops or post them as a comment. I can't wait to read what you've found.

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

June 4, 2009

It's Not E-Mail Marketing if I Can't Figure Out What You Sell

Received this "cold call" e-mail today from XYZ Networks [not the company's real name]. Opened it in preview pane as it had a scary, spammy subject line: "XYZ Networks Meeting." Never heard of XYZ Networks. Read it four times. Couldn't figure out what he sells.

I am lost! What is his "initiative"? How can he reduce my costs? Which costs? I'm confused about when he wants to meet with me, too. In the first paragraph, he's interested in
getting together next week. But in the second, he'll request a meeting
after he's completed a competitive analysis.

This marketing e-mail is so bad that it's a textbook lesson on what not to do.  But if you're trying to sell something by e-mail, or simply trying to book a meeting with a prospect, here's a (pretty obvious) list of what you must do:

• Write a meaningful, engaging subject line.
• Write a single, specific, concrete call to action. 
• Explain exactly what you can do to help the customer. Use "for examples" and cite case studies.
• Help the customer understand who you are and what your company does, even if you have an easily recognized brand name.

Now, I have a question for Writing Matters readers about the choice I made to disguise the real name of the company that sent this e-mail and the "Total Solutions Specialist" who signed it. Do you think I should have used the company's real name? If so, why? Post a comment with your answer or e-mail me.

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

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