Posts within the category: Writing

January 13, 2012

Online communities: How high-quality writing makes private workspaces work

I'd like to introduce guest blogger Michelle Bishop, Vice President at  Collaborative Communications Group. Among the many things she does at Collaborative, Michelle helps clients such as United Way Worldwide and the College Board develop and maintain online "communities of practice." These online communities enable people to work together even when they're separated by distance, time zone, affiliation, expertise, or employer. Online communities help people continue the work they've launched at conferences or other meetings.

I recently had a great discussion with Michelle about how the quality and types of writing in these online communities can determine whether the community achieves its goals. Here's some advice about writing in online communities - in Michelle's own words:

"Online communities provide private spaces for groups to share information, deepen relationships, collaborate, and conduct business across distances. What people are trying to achieve in these online communities influences the tone, pace, and approach of their writing. In our work with online communities of practice, writing has three main purposes:

1. Writing to build community
2. Writing to provide value
3. Writing for reference

 

Writing to build community

Community-building writing focuses on strengthening interpersonal relationships or offering personal advice on a shared issue. This type of writing often takes place in a discussion area or via social networking. When writing to build community, the writing should be informal, conversational, and personal. 

Writing to provide value

Writing to provide value to the community is more formal. It might take the form of an email blast to the entire community. A community facilitator may send out a message about a news article, recently posted resource, or new research finding. The key to success is to clearly communicate the value of the message quickly and succinctly. Writers should use a clear, value-oriented subject line; bullets to summarize the information; and visible links to the item of interest. The recipient must be able to scan the information and understand its value immediately. 

Writing for reference

Writing for reference happens when a community member or facilitator posts a document, tool, or resource to a library or document repository. In this case, the key aspect of the writing will be the use of keywords and tags, so members can retrieve the resource at a later date. If a summary or brief synopsis is included, it should include the key descriptors that a member would use to search for the item in the future. The tone members use when writing for reference may be more formal and the text more detailed than when writing to build community or provide value."

Do you participate in an online community of practice? If so, please comment here to share your thoughts about the writing that goes on in your community.

August 15, 2010

Tips for Writing Customer Service Chat

A week ago, I did something very brave. I engaged in a customer service chat with Comcast, my cable and internet access provider. Why was this brave? Because Comcast is known for spectacularly bad customer service:

• In MSN Money's 2010 Customer Service Hall of Shame, Comcast was number 3 of the "10 companies we love to hate,"  and the Consumerist named Comcast Worst Company In America 2010.
• The 2006 classic YouTube video: A Comcast Technician Sleeping on my Couch (1,542,556 views)

I was chatting with Comcast because my cable service was still out one week after a 3-day power outage. I had web access but no TV. I'd had no luck getting through to Comcast by phone or e-mail, so I figured I'd give chat a try.

Overall, the chat experience was OK. It took a long time, more than 30 minutes from start to finish. Some of that time was spent waiting in the queue before the chat started, and some was spent running the stairs between my office and living room and doing various things to my cable box to try to get it working. The customer service agent (or "analyst Dean") was pleasant enough. Dean's solution to my problem didn't work, so it's difficult to consider the chat a true success.

But I did take a critical look at the chat transcript and can offer some tips on writing customer service chat:

1. Avoid glib empathy. Before I even had a chance to explain to Dean what my problem was, he fell all over himself apologizing for it: "... I understand the trouble that this has caused you and I want you to know how sorry I am for the inconvenience. As your service representative today, I want you to know that your satisfaction is of my topmost priority..." These scripted empathy statements sound insincere. If he had empathized only half as much, he would have sounded twice as genuine.
2. Don't pitch offers to customers who need help. After asking for 1-2 minutes to pull up account information (which I'd already provided), Dean launched into this marketing pitch: "... Are you a big movie and TV fan? Comcast now has the best free online streaming and extensive video collection of television shows, movies, trailers and clips online. For you to experience this great entertainment site please visit..." I firmly told him not to provide marketing information during the chat, but he and the scripts he's given to work with could not resist. Near the end of the chat, this upsell slipped in: "... Do you want to watch full TV shows and movies online? Go to ... "
3. Respond directly to what the customer writes. The benefit of chat, for customers and companies alike, is its two-way quality. The agent should always respond to the customer, even if a time lag or a script briefly gets in the way. Dean did a good job of this. When I asked how to schedule a service call, he responded concisely: "You can chat back or call 1-800-XXX-XXXX."
4. Don't sweat the small stuff (like an occasional grammar or spelling error). While I can't excuse typos or mistakes that impede understanding, I can forgive the agent's occasional errors during a live chat. As a customer, I'm more interested in getting a correct answer or a solution to my problem than I am in copyediting the chat. Even as a "connoisseur of fine writing," I'm not bothered by minor errors in chat because I realize that the agent is probably multitasking wildly: chatting with more than one customer at a time, inserting scripts, offering links, troubleshooting, even taking control of the customer's browser. Dean made some errors. He wrote "I am glad I was able to assist you you today" and "Every information on what we have done is noted in your account..." But these errors did not alter the overall quality of the chat.

 

If you'd like, you can review the transcript of my chat with Comcast.

I'm interested in your experiences with customer service chat. Which companies do it well? Poorly? In your opinion, what is a well-written chat? Post a comment or e-mail me your thoughts.

-- Leslie O'Flahavan

July 11, 2010

Lessons From the Insurance Industry: You Don't Need a Gecko to Set the Right Tone

We recently evaluated the correspondence of a major insurance company and its competitors. Using a benchmarking tool we developed, we rated their e-mails and letters to customers on seven Standards. One Standard that we carefully looked at was tone:  "Correspondence is written in a personal, professional tone."

While the topic of the correspondence frequently involved complex legal and regulatory issues, the insurance companies did a very good job of creating a personal and professional tone. Exactly how did they do this? We've identified the excellent strategies they used and provided some examples. We've also flagged some lapses in tone that you may find creeping into your own correspondence. 

We think these do's and don'ts provide guidance on creating the right tone in any industry or organization. 

Strategies That Create a Personal, Professional Tone

1. Do use personal pronouns.

• You will receive your ATM/Debit Card by mail within seven to ten days.
• You're automatically enrolled in our free online bill paying program. 

2. Do use active voice.

• Send your payment to the address on your billing statement.

3. Do use action verbs.

• You can pay bills, transfer funds, request your auto ID card, place stock trades, set up alerts and more.

4. Do use plain, simple language.

• We’re letting you know about those changes so you can take advantage of today’s earning levels and rewards. You will not lose points, and you have until March 31, 2010, to redeem your points at the current level.

5. Do use words that show respect for customers.

• You are a valued customer, and we thank you for banking with us.
• For more information, please call a customer service representative at XXXX. We apologize for this inconvenience and look forward to continuing to serve your financial needs. 

  

Tone Lapses That Make the Writing Stiff and Bureaucratic

1. Don't use passive voice.

• No action is necessary unless this activity occurred without your knowledge or permission.

2.  Don't use bureaucratic language. 

• Our records show that on 5/12/09 at 11:44 AM, you accessed your online account and established or updated the following information: Password
• The disclosed and corrected information is as follows:
• We are enclosing an "Important Information About Damage Caused by Flooding" notice, which you should also keep with the above referenced policy.

3. Don't use inflated and clichéd words and phrases.

• Rest assured that you will continue to enjoy unparalleled value from our rewards program.
• Due to the new regulations
• These are challenging economic times for everyone.

4.  Don't use caveats and legalese. 

• Based on the information you provided and certain assumptions we made (such as assumptions about the credit report information we obtained) to calculate this estimate, the estimated cost for the auto insurance we discussed with the coverages, limits and deductibles shown below is $407/6 months.

What did we learn by evaluating insurance industry correspondence? It doesn't take a gecko to communicate with customers. The right tone is not a matter of accent or species. It's choosing the right words.

-- Marilynne Rudick (guest blogger)

 

July 2, 2010

Does Passive Voice Mean a Passive President?

Poor President Obama. Besieged from the right and the left on Afghanistan, Iran, the economy, not to mention the oil disaster in the Gulf. He's accused of being too cerebral (No drama Obama) and of being too belligerent ("know whose ass to kick").  Now he is under attack from the Word Police. 

The Global Language Monitor (GLM) dissected his Oval Office address on the oil spill and found him rhetorically deficient. Among his sins: overusing the passive voice, writing overly long sentences, and writing at too high a grade level. 

But is he guilty of those sins? And do they matter? Or do clarity and message trump sentence structure and grade level?

Does Passive Voice Mean a Passive President?

According to GLM, 13 percent of Obama's speech was written in the passive voice, the highest percentage of any presidential address this century. Politically speaking, the passive voice is used to obscure the doer of the action. The most famous passive voice sentence in politics is President Nixon's "Mistakes were made." He said that in taking "responsibility" for Watergate.

If 13 percent of Obama's speech was written in the passive voice, then 87 percent was written in the active voice. As a writing instructor, I've taught that good writers vary sentence construction. And it didn't seem like he used the passive voice to deflect blame. In well-constructed active voice sentences, he clearly identified those responsible for the spill: "But make no mistake: We will fight this spill with everything we've got for as long it takes. We will make BP pay for the damage their company has caused."

His passive voice constructions seemed appropriate: "Over 5.5 million feet of boom has been laid across the water to block and absorb the approaching oil." Using the passive voice here puts the focus on the action (laying the boom) as opposed to the doer (Coast Guard, BP).  

Does Long Make it Wrong?

Obama's sentences averaged about 20 words in length, considered kosher if well crafted: "We consume more than 20 percent of the world's oil reserves but have less than 2 percent of the world's oil reserves."

True, Obama lost points for this 39-word mouthful. But that's because of the ten-word tag he appends to any mention of Chu: "That's why, just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge, a team led by Dr. Steven Chu, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and our nation's secretary of energy."

On the whole, Obama varied the sentence length--not too many short sentences that can sound choppy, if not boring. Rather, he used short sentences powerfully: "And the region still hasn't recovered from Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. That's why we must make a commitment to the Gulf Coast that goes beyond responding to the crisis of the moment. I make that commitment tonight."

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Using a variant of the Flesch Test , which analyzes reading level, GLM determined that Obama's oil spill speech was written at the 9.8 grade level. How does that compare to other presidents? Reagan's "Tear Down this Wall" speech earned a 9.8 grade level. Kennedy's inaugural address was 10.9. George W. Bush generally gave speeches at the 7th grade level. This hardly makes a case for lower grade level being better. Exactly what grade level is "They misunderestimated me"?

So, is Obama guilty of crimes against the English language? Ron Yaros, assistant professor at the Philip Merrill College of Journalism at the University of Maryland, pooh-poohed GLC's analysis of the Oval Office address. What's important, stressed Yaros, is clarity: “It was straightforward and easy to understand.” 

-- Marilynne Rudick (guest blogger)

March 29, 2010

Treasure Trove of Writing Resources

My Proofreading Tips for Finding Errors in Your Own Writing post keeps generating feedback. Most recently, Cate Newton sent me a link to the writing resource page  she compiled for the Guide to Online Schools website. 

Cate wrote: “We are trying to build up useful resources for students of all ages…. We’ve compiled a list of the most useful grammar, proofreading and writing style guides on the Internet into one, easy-to-navigate article.”

Her writing resources are indeed a treasure trove. Among the gems on her list:

BBC Proofreading
Proofreading tips, practice exercises, and quizzes to test your skills. I aced the Level C (Superstar) proofreading test. But I admit that the question prompts and the multiple-choice format helped me catch errors I might have missed. 

The Online Grammar Guide 
The comprehensive guide to English grammar created by Jack Lynch, associate professor at Rutgers University, provides an alphabetic listing of grammar and word choice issues. Lynch offers this consoling take on the difference between that and which.

“Many of the best writers in the language couldn't tell you the difference between them, while many of the worst think they know. If the subtle difference between the two confuses you, use whatever sounds right. Other matters are more worthy of your attention.” He then offers a clear and pithy explanation of the difference. 

The University of Ottawa 
An online grammar course that covers the parts of speech, punctuation, pronouns, verbs, modifiers, clauses, sentences and spelling. This course lets you brush up on English grammar in the privacy of your office or cubicle. 

The Ultimate Style Guide Resources for MLA, APA, Chicago, and CSE
A list of good Internet style guide links. If The Chicago Manual of Style is your style bible, you’ll love the CMS Crib Sheet that summarizes the manual’s most important topics and rules.

School House Rock 
And finally, if you need a break from the rigors of correct usage, head over to Grammar Rock for animated music videos that teach the rules and make you smile. Busy Prepositions makes sense of the confusing rules for prepositions. You’ll spend the day humming the tune (guaranteed!). 

-- Marilynne Rudick (guest blogger)

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